9 - Hire a wedding coordinator.

Pinterest has given us a lot of great ideas and a lot of deluded ideas as well, one of which is the fact we can DIY just about anything.  But the truth is, you don't plan to execute your wedding every weekend (I assume).  There are, however, professionals who do that with excellent finesse and minimal stress because they are practiced at it.

Even a day of wedding coordinator will help the entire day run smoothly.  I know it seems like it would be fine to outsource the coordinating to your Aunt Diane, but the thing is, Aunt Diane has a vested interest in you not simply helping your wedding run well.  She means well and has the best wishes for you, but she'll get caught up in chatting with family or something else.

You need someone whose sole responsibility is to make sure that when you're off taking gorgeous rooftop portraits during cocktail hour that the wedding party knows where and when to meet for group photos so no one bothers you with those questions.  Finding someone do coordinate that day and be the go-to person for all friends, family and vendors is and invaluable stress-reducer for everyone involved.


8 - Choose the wedding party you want, not the one you feel obligated to have.

Choosing your bridal party is a touchy subject.  Some people know they want 9 of their best friends by their sides at their day and there is no awkwardness.  Some people have just one attendant that means the world to them so it's a small affair.  Both of those are incredible situations because it means you're surrounded by love and affirmation.

However, we all have heard of situations of obligatory wedding party members that make things uncomfortable.  If that's the case, I highly encourage you to speak to that person in private and explain why they're not going to be in the party.  I know it's terrifying and it might have immediate fall out, but honestly, it's better than regretting that decision every time you look at your photos.

The right wedding party makes everything feel different.  Rachel chose her four best girl friends from back home in Hermantown, MN and they were some of the most fun girls I've every worked with.  I know I'm probably biased being a Minnesota girl myself  but truthfully, Kara, Sara, Tina and Alicia were such a perfect team, I still remember their names.


7. - Don't fall into the comparison trap - 

It is so easy to get inundated with every little and big thing that look like a great idea from tiny succulent favors to gorgeous hilltop vineyards to six-tier wedding cakes to custom calligraphy-clad envelopes.  The hardest thing about Pinterest is that it lets you choose the best images from the best things in the world and it gives a faulty sense of what real weddings with real budgets and real people look like.

Theodore Roosevelt said that "Comparison is the thief of joy."  Be joyful about your wedding because you aren't having any of those other weddings you've seen, you're planning your wedding and no one else is going to have a wedding just like yours!

6. - Stick to a budget and mean it - 

Sure, having a blow-out, bigger than life party is a really fun way to start a marriage, but a ton of debt is a terrible way to start a marriage.  This is going to mean finding a budget, and sticking to it with fierceness.  It means awkward conversations about money with your loved ones, it means being really honest about your priorities and sacrificing on some of the non-essentials.  It means getting creative with locations, times and food.  It even means asking to borrow things and barter for things.  It means asking big questions of vendors and not trying to con them into a deal but laying out the truth with dignity and asking what can be done within your budget.
My favorite example of this was Whitley & Eric's wedding.  They knew they had a tight budget that they had to stick to but they still wanted lovely images.  It was her honesty and forethought that drew myself, and other vendors, to want to be part of their wedding.  It was lovely and it wasn't tens of thousands of dollars and I'm sure they were thankful of that as they stepped over the threshold of their new home on New Year's Eve.

All right, five down, five to go!  See you tomorrow!

One year ago today marked the last day I had a 40-hour per week job.  I said goodbye to a precious little girl and thank you to her family for letting me care for her for a year, while bringing my oldest son, Soren, along.  Truthfully, that was a really hard year.  Trying to balance being a mom of a one-year old while working to pay the bills by caring for a newborn only to find out a few weeks into your new job that you're expecting another baby was stressful.  On top of it, I had my business and it was growing, changing and improving.  I wanted to be good to my clients and to my kids and my husband and my job and myself and I couldn't do it all anymore.

So with a great deal of fear and exhaustion, I took my husband's hand as he encouraged me to leap forward into becoming a full time photographer.  And last night as we sat on the couch laughing and dreaming and hoping and trying to stave off anxiety with gratitude I realized something, this is not what I originally wanted.

Let me explain.  Seven years ago when I married the man I was, and still am, madly in love with, his mom called me up a few weeks before the wedding.  She asked what we would like as a wedding gift, what was something we didn't have but would really love to have.  My answer was, a camera.  But not a big DLSR, I wanted a little point and shoot because mine had broken and we had no way to take photos on our honeymoon.

So when my new in-laws showed up at our rehearsal with a great big bag that had a great big box with numbers and letters that I didn't understand in the slightest and a giant camera in it, my heart sank.  I didn't know how to use that thing and now we weren't going to have any photos of our honeymoon.  To add to my disdain, the morning of our wedding my future husband called me from Best Buy to ask about exchanging the camera for the newer model that just came out.  Since I had no idea what any of it meant and had resigned myself to the fact that the camera was a gift for him and not for us, my answer was "get whatever you want."  Because, it wasn't what I wanted.
(I took this photo on our honeymoon and could hardly contain my excitement, I didn't give the camera back the rest of the trip.)

Fast forward, past my incredible selfishness, I learned that not only did I have a remarkably talented husband who knew all about this strange device in that box but also he was willing to teach me about it.  I picked up the thing I never thought I would ever want and I fell in love.

Through years of learning and failing, falling and getting up again I find myself here, a business owner while still being the mom of two incredible boys and wife of my biggest fan.

I cannot express how grateful and humbled I am that I didn't get what I wanted, but instead was given a gift to express a gift I never knew I had.  I was sitting with Noah last night honestly trying to imagine what on earth I would be doing if not for this, and I cannot imagine my life without it.

So thank you.  Thank you to Noah for being my teacher and my second shooter and my foot massager and my reality checker.  Thank you to those who trusted me to watch your children so I could make this leap forward.  Thank you to my couples who have trusted me in this last year and been willing to make this journey with me.  Thank you to those who have been there since the beginning.  As always, thank you to Micah & Cassie for trusting us to take your wedding photos six years ago, I am still blown away by the gift you gave me by saying yes to letting us shoot.  Thank you to those who have read this far, let's get together soon.

Thank you to Kevin & Shauna for our amazing wedding gift seven years ago.
Seven years ago, this was not what I wanted and I am forever grateful.

I have been jumping out of my skin in excitement to share these photos.  In June, I had the privilege of spending the afternoon with internationally renowned encaustic artist, Natalie Salminen Rude, in her studio in Duluth, MN.  She asked me in to document her space, the light and colors that fill it and some of her process.  It was truly inspiring and humbling and little bit like eavesdropping on a conversation that hasn't yet finished.

For those who don't know, encaustic is an ancient medium mixing beeswax with resin and pigment to create bold and buildable colors, perfect for embedding mixed media elements and texture.  Her work is tactile and complex.  The more you look at a piece the more you discover about it and what was so remarkable about watching Natalie work was her willingness to discover where the piece was going as she was creating it.  It was as if there was no mandate by her as a creator but the hope and expectancy of what it could become with her gentle hand guiding it along.

More than being a creative soul whose work graces homes and businesses and churches all over the globe, she is passionate about giving back.  Her Commissions Project is a way for people who are desperate for art and for justice in the world to have custom work created and then have HALF the proceeds from that piece go to a charity of their choosing.

She is guided by a need to create because she believes without a doubt that creating is a spiritual act, connecting her to her Creator and to the world around her.  She is the wife of an incredible man and mom to three remarkable kids, all whom I miss dearly.  I am honored to call her my friend and my sister and to know that she is in this world making it stunningly beautiful with every brush stroke.
  Also, she's just really gorgeous.
The colors of the beeswax are so vibrant I almost forgot they were also really hot!  Oh, and  that is nearly 50 pounds of beeswax below.

 I love my art form, but she gets to work with a blowtorch on a regular basis with hers.

Her new website is now live, check out www.nataliesalminen.com.  Thank you for bringing me in to such a sacred space, Nat, I love you.

Christie and Tola met in math class, which is more than enough proof that you can actually apply math to real life situations.  In their college math course, Tola started a study group and by the end of the semester Christie was the only one who never missed a study session.

Fast forward past college, past Tola's service in the Coast Guard, into new careers and a really cute dog, they realized they still never missed a chance to spend time together.  So in honor of the time they love spending in their canoe, or sitting in their Adirondack chairs enjoying coffee we combined all these things at Seattle's Greenlake for Saturday's smokey red sunrise.

 Thanks for braving the very early morning with me, you two!  I am so excited for your wedding in September!